I usually have something edible in the garden from March through to September, but there are plans afoot to move out of London and in with The Beloved. I am struggling to balance looking forward to leaving with the shorter-term/immediate facts of still being here. I've found it nigh on impossible to get remotely enthused about the garden. My neighbours have enormo-rabbits that periodically escape and devour everything on our side of the fence, so any planting this year really requires some serious anti-bunny precautions too. To be honest, I'm just not willing to put in that time and effort when I might possibly be leaving.
And that frame of mind is spilling over into other areas of my life. I like to be green. I like to recycle and reuse. I don't like waste. I do still recycle, but recently I had to buy a box as I'd not put the Ideal Box to one side the week before. Buying a cardboard box is the type of thing which makes me feel like a bit of a chump. It's a box for crying out loud. Why am I handing over hard-earned cash for a box?
I also feel like I haven't been meal-planning as well as I used to and it's been a while since I baked, which means my biscuit habit is being propped up by the supermarket and funds are being diverted from the Moving Fund. Little things that are easy to change, but I've just been lazy. This must stop.
So, from today, I am going to be a bit more positive about Still Being In London. I am not going to beat myself up about the garden, I will just let nature take her course (I might pull up the bindweed from time to time) and tell myself that insect life will benefit from an undisturbed year of partying without me and my spade getting in their way.
I will also try change little things. Tiny things. Easy-to-do things. Things that taken individually can be fun and interesting and (maybe) save a few pennies, but which all add up to a general change of attitude and life. I have already identified a start: conditioner. I am about to run out, but rather than buy more, I thought I might try this.
I should just add, it's not all been doom gloom and frustration. Check out the freesias now!